Despite attack ads, election is about war, economy

The Herald

October 10, 2008 05:32 pm

— While a presidential election always sparks a lot of interest, I can do without the ridiculous exaggerations that are advertised on television.
Then again, by election day the average American will no longer be able to afford cable or digital TV and won’t be bothered by such drivel.
The Obama and McCain campaigns just don’t seem to get it. I don’t care if Obama was on a board with former “Weatherman” William Ayers or that McCain made a mistake and was involved in a banking scandal as one of the “Keating Five.”
I don’t care if Obama’s middle name is Hussein or if McCain’s middle name is George Bush.
I don’t care if one is pro-choice or pro-abortion or even pro-football.
It doesn’t matter if one spent five years in a Vietnamese prison camp or if one spent five years in an American prison called Chicago.
I don’t care if your skin is white, black, red, yellow or green. And it doesn’t bother me if you are 40 years old or 100 years old. And I don’t care if your running mate is a hockey mom or a hockey puck.
It doesn’t concern me if you own nine houses and 11 cars or if you can’t bowl higher than 39. I don’t care if you can’t send e-mail or text a cell phone message.
I think I am like most average Americans — except racists who won’t vote for a black man or sexists who won’t vote for a woman — vice president, that is. There are two things we care most about this coming election — the economy and the war. That’s what we are worried about and they are related.
The war in Iraq is costing us billions of dollars a week, rapidly adding to our national deficit that is over $10 trillion, almost double what it was when George Bush became president.
I wish I had been in Joe Biden’s shoes debating Sarah Palin recently.
“Well Lynn, you were against the surge and look how well that’s worked.”
“Golly gee, Sarah, I can see it’s working just great. Well, great unless you are the family of one of hundreds of Americans who were killed or one of thousands who were maimed since the so-called surge began. We shouldn’t have been there in the first place and now we’re killing more Americans for no reason instead of pulling out. Maybe you could say ‘Mission Accomplished,’ huh?”
“Now Lynn, may I call you Lynbo? There you go talking about the past again.”
“I have to Sarah; may I call you Stupid? If you don’t learn from the past, you’re destined to repeat it. Like having a Republican in the White House. It will take a long time to make up for the Bush mistakes that have throttled this country. And if you are an example of the kind of mistakes McCain would make as president, we are in bigger trouble.”
“Ahh Lynn, as a third-grader told me recently, ‘You sure are a lame-brain.’ That means I’m smart, right? By the way, a shout-out to Miss Magee’s 3rd-grade class at Kill-A-Polar-Bear Elementary School.”
“Gee whiz, Sarah, I wish you hadn’t told that class they could see Russia out the school window. But here’s a shout-out to 3rd-graders everywhere:
“If John McCain is elected, study the past. You have no future!”

The Herald’s Lynn Saternow writes this column each Saturday for the Opinion page.

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